My life .... on-line!

Soviet Russia jokes are funny when they are witty not when everyone just turns everything backwards saying in soviet Russia shirt wears you

Music!!

Due to copious amounts of revision I have failed to vary my life enough recently so today I decided to up the ante by learning some songs . I know what you’re thinking and yes , Charlie sheen is jealous and wishes he had a life as wild as mine. 

First I learned Brett you got it going on by flight of the conchords, so now I can put on my glasses and pretend to be jemaine  whenever there’s a guitar handy.

I also learned how to play is this the way to amarillo XD because my little brother brought it home from his guitar lesson and I thought hey if it worked for peter kay it can work for me!!

I retaught myself Hysteria on the bass because , A, its epic , and B it helps my finger dexterity…… for guitar you sick minded people!!

OH OH OH OH 

actually this week this nurse came in and she did a talk on sex and stuff , I wasnt really that attentive since I had a bit of blue tac which is much more interesting!

any way later on a friend comes up to me and says hey do you wanna get some condoms off the nurse ?

I probably would have spared myself the embarrassment if given the choice but hey free is free and he wanted me to go with him. So we walk in to this room and she asks ” are you two together?” 

I replied “yes……I mean no oh god no not in that way !! I wouldnt….ewww no that is a one way zone.” any way after 5 mins of trying to act mature and answering her questions about my personal life assuring her i havent given head and had sex with every girl in crewe she gave me the goods and i left.

Now i see why people would rather pay XD

Today has been my 80s day billy idol and police all the way!!

I have come to that time of the year again where frantic revision is needed yet I lack the drive to do any XD work takes up so much free time that I barely get to do any XD

Podcasts

So I need to revise a lot , but revision is boring . I needed to find something that made it tolerable , and that something is Karl pilkington . The sad thing is I often find that my musings on life run parallel to those of the roundheaded buffoon , eg I don’t trust jellyfish as they don’t have eyes , if I was an alien and I came down from space and everything that was knocking about on earth was lined up in front of me I’d be like man yup , woman yup , cat yup, dog yup, octopus ….WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT !!?!? and I think how horrific bird song must be for insects , watching a bird wrench me from the earth chew me up and spit me into their kids mouth . I rescue drowning bugs and I put worms back into the grass , after checking which direction they were heading and helping them on their way , cus only a no head would send them back from whence they came . Sighhh , I need a life or more time with my girlfriend so that she can listen to my pointless crap rather than punishing the world . At least she doesn’t laugh at me XD I’m crazy XD